Chapter 142.1

1:05am.
HELLO 18TH OF NOVEMBER!

[The Fray - How To Save A Life?]
"where did i go wrong? i lost a friend."

that sentence shot my brain. i wonder what does that sentence exactly mean. does it mean losing a friend as in the friend faced death? or probably lost a friend because of some misunderstood situation.

a friend. what exactly is that? all i know is, a "friend" is also a human-being with feelings. "friend" can be both love and hate. and trust me, everyone experienced the feeling of hatred towards their friends. most of the hatred feelings are caused by jealousy. it can be anything, jealous of their friend being loved by their loved one, or probably about financial matters, or maybe because their friend is leading a far more better life.

hatred, can sometimes cause something tragic called "backstabbing". i find that word funny, dontcha think? i backstabbed my friends a lot of time, but heck i dont care. how low and selfish can i get? oh well, i know something bad is gonna come in my way. im looking forward to it.

when will i face death? im not emo, n00bs. that question ALWAYS appear in front of my brain EVERY MORNING when i wake up and EVERY NIGHT when im on my way to sleep. i was expecting "it" to come before i reach the age of 14. but then, HELLO, IM HERE TYPING THIS POST. heck. haha, come on laugh, thats funny. dontcha think?

how will i die soon? freak accident? shot to the head? drown in water? chopped by a psycho with a chainsaw? i dont know. there are many possible ways to get my soul out of this body. i told this certain friend of mine "if suicide wasnt against God, i would be dead now." but i know i wont die because of suicide. its against Allah. yes, Allah. does it blink your eye? did it made your heart skipped a beat? start praying to Him, ask for forgiveness from Him. before its too late. im sorry to say this but, it came to my head suddenly, for you muslim girls who dyed their hair, i dont think there's a way to pray to God. EXCEPT, go bald. really im serious.

come to think of it, after you had your menstrual period, you do this "mandi wajib" to clean yourself from any "kotoran" but the dyes won't let the "mandi wajib"s water to enter your hair.
thats what i heard from the muslim elders. and yes, that means your prayers are just "sia-sia" because of the dyes.





-ill end this post here. its 2am already. heck. i miss him already, you know who you are babe ;D